Occasional nonsense stories that can’t be proved otherwise…
It was today reported that President-elect Barack Obama was suffering from a grave rhetorical disease called speaker’s dropsy, a severe vocal handicap that forces sufferers to end each sentence in a lower octave than the one they started in.
Signs of the debilitating syndrome were first spotted by “surgeon to the stars”, Dr. R.P. Thropplenoggin at a September press conference in Dampy Squib, Ohio. Dr. Thropplenoggin said, “I couldn”t believe my ears – it was the dreaded dropsy!” and went on to mimic Obama’s vocal mannerisms at the time:
“The economy is in a mess. We know that. But we also know that this is the Greatest America in the world, better than all the others.“
At severe moments, dropsy can even affect clauses within a single sentence, as happened in early November at a stump speech in Superabundantville, Texas:
“I promise to serve the American people, to find jobs where jobs there are none, to cut taxes where taxes there are many, …”
It is feared that this could be a new CIA-engineered tool in the War on Credit, by using a subliminal subtext operating inside these lower frequencies.
Critics cite a speech from late November 2008, when Obama appeared to be saying nothing much, but which still received wall-to-wall media coverage.
“I’m talking about change. Yes, we can. A change that’s so real you can kiss it. And I believe in the ‘Merican economy. And I believe that in time we’re going to revalue our assets.
Dr. Thropplenoggin was quoted as saying that, if dropsy remains untreated, the lower frequency utterances could end up dominating Obama’s speech, resulting in a low rumbling sound like that of thunder, often used in theatre and Hollywood to indicate something ominous.
In other news today, it was reported that Obama had picked Hillary Clinton to be US Secretary of State.
December 2, 2008 at 10:17 am
[...] Low-bama: President-elect suffering from Dipsy; Rhetoric being dragged down into lower octaves Occasional nonsense stories that can’t be proved otherwise… It was today reported that President-elect Barack Obama was suffering from grave rhetorical disease, dipsy, a severe vocal handicap that forces sufferers to end each sentence in a lower octave than the one they started in. Signs of the debilitating syndrome were first spotted by “surgeon to the stars”, Dr. R.P. Thropplenoggin, back in July, at a September press conference in Dampy Squib, Ohio. Thropplenoggin said, “I couldn”t believe my ears – it was the dreaded dipsy!” and went on to mimic Obama’s vocal mannerisms at the time: “The economy is in a mess. We know that. But we also know that this is the Greatest America in the world, better than all the others.“ At severe moments, dipsy can even affect clauses within a single sentence, as happened in early November at a stump speech in Slobsville, Texas: I promise to serve the American people, to find jobs where jobs there are none, to cut taxes where taxes there are many,… It’s feared that this could be a new CIA-engineered tool in the War on Credit, by using a subliminal subtext operating inside these lower frequencies. Critics cite a speech from late November 2008, when Obama appeared to [...] [...]
December 2, 2008 at 2:01 pm
[...] Low-bama: President-elect suffering chronic “dipsy”; Rhetoric plunging into lower octaves Low-bama: President-elect suffering chronic “dipsy”; Rhetoric plunging into lower octaves •December 2, 2008 • 1 Comment Occasional nonsense stories that can’t be proved otherwise… It was today reported that President-elect Barack Obama was suffering from a grave rhetorical disease called dipsy, a severe vocal handicap that forces sufferers to end each sentence in a lower octave than the one they started in. Signs of the debilitating syndrome were first spotted by “surgeon to the stars”, Dr. [...]