Dr. Y.U. Thropplenoggin A pioneer in the new unscientific field of ethnosexography, he is armed with only a trusty pith helmet, well-starched safari suit, aviator goggles and some proper bosh. He attempts to “bag” various intra-species species, such as the mythical well-cushioned wench, Ghetto Booty, and shares his tales of sexual derring-don’t in “In Like Thropplenoggin”.
As a ranconteur, he also likes to share his manifold talents for perspicacious persiflage or “bad-bottom banter” in Big T’s PithPot. For those looking to take a refreshing semi-brever, the Big T opens up his MP3 emporium of pertinent ditties once a week.
Ray Mears Popular survivalist and master of Bushcraft (leading to a second career as a pubic topiarist), his popularity as a popular entertainer on TV often forces him to go “incognito” on the High Street. He is currently trying to survive in the Urban Jungle. Occassionally shares his x-rated collection of “Machete Porn”.
Jonathan Merde is a one-man cultural no-no, picking at the fetid carcass of “haute culture” and revealing profundity in seemingly boneheaded blockbusters in his World of Celluloid Wisdom series. Sample quote:
COMIC SANS: a typeface for those who can only take their glyphs wookin wike a cutesy-wutesy pudgy ickle baby; font-ally challenged
Dr.Whoopsalot – a self-help guru who states the bleeding obvious. His seminal work, The Power of Infinity, is a masterpiece of utter codswallop, and it goes without saying that Oprah lapped it up. Start living forever now. Click the “Yay!” to see his unique brand of wisdom on Twitter.
Bitchin’ Hitchens & Squeaky Squawkins Two agents from D.N.A. – Downright Nasty Atheists – and literal bible-bashers, who’d be hellbent on debasing everything sacred on earth, if hell existed. Also answer to the names, Moulder & Sully.
